Freaks and Geeks
by PapayaWhip
Summary: You're either one or the other
1. During

_A/N: Okay. First of all, in my little universe, those stupid Friends Forever books cease to exist. Yeah, I can do that. Because, to quote Arj Barker_, "It's not your world, it's my world." _So, the following tale occurs straight after _The Fire at Mary Anne's House.

_Secondly, some of these characters are mine. Others are Ann M Martin's. You know the ones I mean._

_Okay, on with the show!_

* * *

**During**

They arrive at the hospital at the same time. The severity of the situation has provided a temporary amnesia, and so they enter together. One of them casts surreptitious sideglances at her middle school friends and tries to recall the last time they were all in the same room. Voluntarily.

They find her parents in the waiting room. "They won't tell us anything!" her mother sobs.

Her father pulls them aside. "We appreciate you girls being here," he tells them. "But it's best you go home. She..." He looks over his shoulder at the inconsolable woman and sighs. "I don't think she can handle crowds right now." He promises to call the second they learn anything.

They go back to Claudia's. It seems appropriate.

But once the small talk has been exhausted and the numbing shock of the event begins to ebb, the room grows heavy with the weight of four years worth of unresolved anger. The tragic accident may have brought them together, but it has failed to erase their past.

To ease the tension, one of them attempts a joke. "So," she smiles. "What has everyone been up to?"

A ripple of nervous laughter passes like a Mexican wave. And then they start talking.


	2. Before: Kristy

_Another thing. Okay, so, I had this whole Abby story planned out and it was going to be great. But, having never read an Abby book, I just couldn't get her voice. So, no Abby. You may notice (well, you will now that I've pointed it out) that she's in the first few chapters and then disappears. Yeah, whenever something like that happens, a wizard did it._

But-

_Wizard!_

**

* * *

**

**Before:**

**I - Kristy **

It's not like I thought the Baby-Sitters Club would last forever. I knew as well as anyone that we had an expiry date. I just didn't expect it all to end so soon.

We were scattered that summer. Perhaps that was the problem. We were different people by the time we got back.

x

After graduation, mom and Watson called me into the study for a 'serious talk'. Naturally I panicked. Fortunately, they hadn't discovered the broken window in the basement.

"We want to talk about your future," mom informed me.

"O-okay," I stammered uncertainly.

"I'm sure you want to go to college," Watson continued. It was more of a question than a statement, so I nodded.

"We were thinking," mom interjected, "that a private education might be a better choice for you."

"No!" I cried.

Mom smiled patiently. "Calm down," she said gently, before I could get angry. "We're not forcing you to do anything. We just thought it was something to consider."

"It's more than the education. Stoneybrook Day School has a very extensive sports program," Watson added temptingly. He dangled the carrot further. "Do you know that SHS doesn't have a girls softball team?"

"I don't care!" I said firmly. "It has my friends. That's all that matters."

"Just think about it," mom pressed.

x

_Dear Kristy,_

_I'm sitting on the porch of my grandmothers place, watching the sun set beyond the hills. It's incredibly beautiful. I wish you were here to see it. As I write, grandma is cooking her famous fried chicken and hot biscuits. The smell is making my mouth water!_

_Getting out of Stoneybrook has been good for me. The change of scenery and the fresh air have been so... distracting. I've barely thought of the fire since I arrived._

_I'm scared about what will happen when I get back._

_Love,_

_MA_

x

For the first two weeks of our vacation, I was the only one of us left in Stoneybrook. The time dragged. I read a little and ran a lot. I started watching the midday movie on Lifetime, _Mother May I Sleep With an Alcoholic Wife Beater While Suffering Depression After Being Date Raped_, as Sam called those made-for-TV melodramas. I took advantage of the Kilbournes offer to use their pool while they were gone and discovered that swimming laps was a lot nicer than running miles. I thought about joining the swim team when school started.

I helped David Michael with his pitching and cleaned my room out and wrote letters to my friends. And, of course, I baby-sat.

x

_From: Kristy Thomas_

_Sent: Friday 6 June 5:18pm_

_To: Stacey McGill_

_Subject: Hi!_

_Hey Stace,_

_How are you? How's the Big Apple? Are you having fun (and being careful?) I'll bet you're having a lot more fun than I am here :)_

_It's a zoo at the Thomas-Brewer residence tonight. Karen and Andrew are here for the summer, so it's already a full house. And then Karen invited Hannie over, so David Michael had to invite Linny over. Mom and Watson went to see this play and Charlie and Sam are on a double date, so I'm alone with a houseful of kids. Hmph! I'm only kidding, of course. I don't mind. I just wish David Michael and Linny would stop annoying the girls._

_Hey, I sat for Charlotte Johansson the other day. We spent the afternoon reading up about New York in her mothers Lonely Planet. She wanted me to tell you hi. So, hi from Charlotte. She really misses you._

_I've been getting lots of letters from everyone. I'm sure you've heard from Claudia. Mary Anne's having fun living the simple life in Iowa, and Shannon's fallen in love with Ireland. And Abby's soccer camp is her idea of heaven, so she's happy._

_Okay, there's screaming coming from Karen's bedroom so I'd better go see what's wrong. I hope you have a good weekend. I'm sure you'll be doing something exciting - more exciting than buying new sneakers and sitting for the Prezziosos, anyway!_

_From,_

_Kristy_

_-_

_From: Stacey McGill _

_Sent: Wednesday 1 August 7:22pm_

_To: Kristy Thomas_

_Subject: re:Hi!_

_Sorry I've taken so long to reply. NY is great. Tell Char I said hi._

_-Stace_

x

My boredom was relieved when the Kilbournes returned. Shannon couldn't stop raving about Ireland. "The weather's crap and the food isn't much better," she informed me, "but the boys have the cutest accents, and Guinness is great!"

"Your parents let you drink?!" I asked, incredulous.

"Of course not!" Shannon cried. "They're not _that_ out of it. But they were too busy visiting all one thousand of dads cousins to pay us too much attention. We ran wild!"

Drinking beer and meeting cute older boys wasn't really my thing. Still, she'd had a lot more excitement than me.

When I told Shannon about my post-grad discussion with mom and Watson she leapt upon the idea. "That would be awesome!" she cried. "You should totally do it, Kristy. Think how much fun we'll have."

After that, she started peppering our conversations with random factoids about the school. "Hey, do you know that SDS just installed a brand new, state of the art gym?" she announced one day. I'd only asked if she had any ketchup.

When Shannon really sets her sights on something, she can be more stubborn than me. Like when she decided she was going to throw me a pool party for my birthday. "Mom'll be in her office," she said, wrinkling her nose, "but she'll be too busy working to check up on us. It'll be _practically _unsupervised."

"My birthday isn't for two weeks," I pointed out, but she was already pulling a notebook and pen out of her bag. I had no hope of dissuading her.

"Okay. Who will we invite?"

"Well..." I thought for a minute. Then shrugged. "Everyone's gone away," I pointed out.

"Surely you have _some_ non-BSC friends," Shannon sighed.

"Nobody I'd want to invite to my party," I said.

That wasn't going to stop Hurricane Shannon. In the end, she invited a bunch of her Day School friends. I knew a total of two people; Bart Taylor and Anna Stevenson. Bart and I attempted awkward small talk for about five minutes before giving up. After Anna left, I retreated to the Kilbournes lounge room, where Tiffany was playing DJ.

Occasionally, people would drift in and introduce themselves. "How do you know the birthday girl?" one guy asked.

I smiled beatifically. "We have the same therapist," I told him. He knitted his brows together and nodded seriously.

Tiffany snorted. "I know you were trying to be funny," she said, "but half the people here are actually seeing therapists. Don't be surprised if they start asking you for recomendations.

Outside, the party raged on. A few bottles of wine were being passed around. Shannon had a small glass, but I noticed she wrinkled her nose after every sip. The music was turned up and several people started dancing wildly. A few couples made out in the corner. A girl was thrown into the pool. These were the people I would be going to school with, if mom and Watson had their way.

I poured myself a glass of fruit punch and rolled my eyes at Tiffany. This was not my scene at all.

_Happy birthday Kristy_, I thought miserably.

x

_Der Kristy, _

_I love Tokyo! It's fashun hevan and the avant gard gallerys are relly cool._

_I had a long chat with mom and dad the other nite. They say that if I want to keep doing my art clases I may have to give up the BSC. I have a lot of thinking to do._

_C U lata,_

_Claud._

x

I liked Shannon best when it was just the two of us. Around her SDS friends, it was like she had something to prove, a reputation to uphold. When it was just us, she dropped the pretense.

I had tried to avoid Shannon after my birthday party. She'd given me a week to wallow before forcing herself upon me.

"Okay, so your party was a bust," she admitted, sounding contrite. "I'm sorry."

"Mmm hmm."

"So... I've arranged something else."

"Mmm hmm."

"C'mon Kris, you'll love this," she pressed.

"Mmm hmm."

A half minute silence ensued. Finally, Shannon lunged across the room and flung herself down on the bed next to me. "Kristin Amanda Thomas, you are the most stubborn person in the world, you know that?" She poked my ribs playfully. I pressed my lips together, trying to conceal a smile. She had me. And she knew it.

So I gave in. "This had better be good," I threatened.

I wasn't sure what to expect. Certainly not a night of hot dogs and bowling at the Washington Mall. Shannon's friend Greer joined us. She was fun and silly, nothing like the attention seeking drama queen I'd anticipated. We had a lot of fun.

Like Shannon, Greer was forever singing the praises of SDS. They dragged me along to their parties and although I was reluctant at first, I slowly started to loosen up. And as I got to know more people from their group, I started to have a really great summer. The drinking still bothered me but it was easily avoided. Shannon only drank in small amounts, while Greer didn't drink at all.

Shannon made a point of introducing me to the JV softball captain, Emma, who was not only gorgeous, but incredibly sweet. She suprised me at home one afternoon and was roped into playing a game with me and my siblings. After seeing me in action, she jumped on the bandwagon. "We need an all-rounder like you on the team!" she begged.

Between her and Shannon and Greer... well, they were convincing.

x

_I don't want to come home!_

_Abby_

x

I spent that Saturday doing research. Watson was right - SHS didn't have a girls softball team. Or a computer lab. Or a mentoring program. Or a fully equipped, digital film department.

I ended up going to Sam for advice. Sure, he's a total goof ball but when the chips are down, he always manages to come up with some sage words.

"You gotta do whatever makes you happy," he insisted. "Don't even think about your friends or your club or whatever. You know? Just be selfish for once. I mean, this is your future!"

"But what about Mary Anne?" I asked. Her letters had become more and more desperate as her departure date grew closer. Starting high school was scary enough, but on top of her issues about the fire? As her best friend, I felt I had to be there for her.

"Mary Anne has a father, and a stepmother, and a stepsister, and a whole bunch of other friends," Sam pointed out. "Kristy. Stop screwing around, okay? You can't choose a school because you're worried your friend won't be able to cope without you."

I sighed. Claudia wasn't the only one who had a lot of thinking to do.

x

We met at Pizza Express for an end-of-summer feast. After the initial banter about our holidays, we fell into a silence that was unlike us. Everyone seemed different that night. Mary Anne was unusually quiet, Stacey seemed bored and haughty and Claudia looked impatient, like she couldn't wait to get back to her sketch pad.

I told them my news just after the pizza arrived. "I'm going to Stoneybrook Day School," I announced, without fanfare.

I'd made my decision that morning. The late enrollment was no problem; Watson was always donating to the school. Money talks, my friend. When we got home, Shannon was waiting for us. She actually did a cartwheel when she saw the uniforms in my hand.

If only the BSC shared Shannon's enthusiasm.

"Are you serious?" Stacey asked.

"What about the club?" Abby asked.

"I think it's great," Claudia broke in, loyally. "If the academic part weren't so hard I wouldn't mind going to SDS. It has a great art department."

And then Mary Anne did something really shocking. Without saying a word, she pitched her glass at the floor, where it shattered noisily. Then she looked up at me, her eyes bright with fury.

"Fuck you," she hissed, being storming outside.

And that was the last thing she ever said to me.


	3. Before: Claudia

**Before:**

**II - Claudia**

Tokyo had been the most mind blowing experience of my entire life. I'd witnessed a whole new genre of art, one that wasn't confined to museums and galleries; there was the architecture of the old temples, the funky modern furniture in our hotel room, the way the girls in Harajuku dressed. And the fusion of old world tradition and ultra modern society just made my head spin. I'd spend the days exploring the city with my family, then come back to the hotel and draw. Most nights, I'd draw long into the morning, sleep for a few hours, then wake up to do it all over again. It was my food, my air, my life.

After Tokyo, I knew that this was what I wanted to do. What I was born to do. And there was no sacrifice I wouldn't make to fulfill my destiny.

x

After everything I'd heard about the extended workload and freshman hazing, high school turned out to be pretty tame. It was almost disappointing - all that worry for nothing.

The BSC held on for another week before collapsing. Everyone had turned up for the first meeting back. Mary Anne, however, had taken one look at Kristy and walked out. She never showed again. The rest of us were there on Wednesday, but the lack of enthusiasm, not to mention the lack of calls, had been uncomfortably obvious. And then, there was Friday's meeting.

I had art last period Friday afternoon. I'd sought out the serious artists during Wednesday's class and when I walked in that afternoon they were sitting together at the front. I sat between Ashley Wyeth and Mia Pappas and pulled out my sketch book. I was hurriedly rifling through the pages when; "Whoa, go back one," a deep voice beside me ordered.

The owner of the voice was a tall, quietly intense guy with longish blond hair that hung in his face. When he flicked his head back, I discovered that he had beautiful blue-ish green eyes. I obeyed, flipping back the pages while I struggled to recall his name. Thad? Something like that? Finally, we found the sketch that had caught his eye - a detailed rendering of the Nihonbashi bridge, which Janine and I had discovered while looking for the Tokyo Stock Exchange (her idea, obviously.) "That's incredible," Tim? Tom? breathed, incredulous.

"Which one Ty?" Ashley drawled nasally. (_Ty_!) "The bridge or the drawing?"

_Bitch,_ I thought nastily._ Can't stand anyone else getting praise, even for a second._

"Well, both," Ty clarified with a smile. "But, yeah, the drawing."

"It _is_ good," Ashley agreed, and I took back my nasty thoughts. "You've obviously been dedicating a lot more time to your work."

I could feel myself beaming.

After class, we went to the Argo. Ashley and Ty nursed espressos while I sipped my ice chocolate sheepishly. I would have to learn to like espresso, I decided. We talked art for hours, and it wasn't until the was was starting to set that I realised how late it was getting. "I gotta go," I cried, jumping to my feet. "I've got-" I stopped. Admitting that I was leaving for a BSC meeting made me feel less dedicated somehow. Although, judging by the smirk on Ashley's face, I suspected she knew.

The meeting was over by the time I got home, but Kristy, Abby and Stacey were still there. They looked serious and I had the strangest feeling of deja vu; here I was again, missing meetings to hang out with Ashley Wyeth.

But my friends weren't angry this time. They had other things on their mind. "We've been talking about the future of the club," Kristy informed me, "but we wanted to wait until you got here before we made any decisions."

"Oh." I plopped down on my bed. This was going to get full on.

"So Mary Anne's obviously quit, and you and Stacey always seem to have other things to do," Kristy began. There was no bitterness or spite in her voice; it was flatly matter of fact. "And we've only had, like, two calls this afternoon. Stacey thinks that maybe everyone found new sitters over the summer."

"Who called?" I asked.

"The Newtons and the Perkins," Stacey answered.

"Ooh, who got the jobs?"

"Well me, cause Kristy and Abby live too far away, but if you want I'll split them with you-"

"Can we please get back to business?" Kristy asked.

Stacey and I shared a smile. "Sorry."

Kristy took a deep breath, but when she spoke, her voice shook slightly. "I move to disband the Baby-Sitters Club."

"I second," Stacey said, after a token pause.

"Thirded," I put in.

Abby smiled weakly. "Motion carried."

"Should I leave a message on my machine, like last time?" I asked.

Everyone looked to Kristy. She nodded dully.

And like that, it was over, a two year period of my life finished in seconds. Sure I was relieved, but I couldn't pretend like I wasn't a little upset either.

x

_(hellokitty has entered the room)_

_iheartart: Hi Mary Anne!_

_hellokitty: hey Claud_

_iheartart: how are u? we havnt seen u arond much_

_iheartart: Mary Anne? u stil there?_

_hellokitty: yeah. I've just been busy._

_iheartart: Stace and I r worred abowt u_

_hellokitty: you'd be the only ones_

_(SophistiStace has entered the room)_

_SophistiStace: whats happening?_

_SophistiStace: oh, hey Mary Anne_

_hellokitty: hi_

_SophistiStace: how have u been?_

_hellokitty: all right. Logan and I went out tonight for our one year anniversary._

_iheartart: kewl_

_(Kristy has entered the room)_

_Kristy: yo_

_(hellokitty has left the room)_

x

The next Friday afternoon, I hung out at Stacey's place. Dorianne Wallingford was there as well. She and Stacey had spent the summer together in New York, where Dori had been unofficially interning at her uncles firm. I guess they'd become pretty tight. I tried not to show my jealousy.

"So, Austin's having a party tonight," Dori told us as she painted her toenails a bright pink. "We should totally go."

"I'm there," Stacey responded immediately.

They looked at me expectantly. I shrugged. I had a mountain of homework - mom and dad were really on my case about keeping up with my school work - and a watercolour just begging to be finished.

"Please Claud?" Stacey wheedled. "I don't want to go to my first high school party without you."

I grinned, mollified. "Oh, all right," I sighed, trying to sound reluctant.

"Yes!" Dori cried. "We're going to have the best time. Remember that Rudy Matthews party?" she said to Stacey. "The one with all the kegs?"

Stacey wrinkled her nose. "I remember being completely soaked in beer because some rookie didn't know how to work the pump," she groaned.

"And when we got home your dad was all, 'Have you girls been drinking?' ," Dori giggled. "And you were like, 'Dad. I'm diabetic. You'd know if I'd been drinking cause-'"

"'I'd be in the hospital!'" Stacey finished, shrieking with laughter.

I smiled politely and waited for their laughter to subside. They were forever talking about their New York summer and even when they explained the joke, I still felt left out. It was always one of those 'you had to be there' situations.

"Look guys, I'd better go," I said, rising. "I'm going to try and get some homework done before we go."

"Okay," Dori chirped. She was bent over her toenails and didn't even look up.

Stacey walked me to the door. We ended up chatting out on the porch for awhile, trading random snippets of gossip; my story about Jacqui Grant and Lew Greenburg getting busted making out in her room, for her story about Robert Brewster getting trashed at Pete Black's birthday party and puking all over the couch.

"Could you imagine if I was still with him?" she said, grimacing. "You know how I am with puke. Ew!"

We shared a laugh. The fading sunlight caught Stacey's hair, turning it golden for a second. It was a good moment.

x

Austin's party was a total blow-out. The place was wall-to-wall packed, and the alcohol flowed freely. Dori accepted a Smirnoff while Stacey pushed on, repeating, "I'm a diabetic," over and over in a bored tone. It was a routine they had downpat. They'd obviously done this a lot in New York. Unlike me. This was my first real party - those dry, chaperoned affairs in middle school weren't even in the same league - and I was trying desperately to imitate Stacey's blase nonchalance.

When we reached the lounge room, Stacey and Dori made a beeline for a trio of practically identical blond girls. "This is Bridget, Mandy and Hope," Stacey introduced. "We all tried out for the cheerleading squad together."

"The list for the second round try-outs goes up on Monday," one of them (I'm fairly sure it was Hope) squealed. "I'm so nervous I could barf!"

"Charming," Stacey laughed.

Since Dori looked so comfortable nursing her drink, and because Stacey and the triplets were talking about people I didn't know, I accepted the Corona Austin offered me. I swigged. It wasn't too bad. I took another swig.

"Pace yourself Claud," Stacey warned.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes mom."

The more I drank, the more interesting the girls cheerleading conversation became. I even started to contribute, making witty observations about the squad. Stacey laughed at me. "You're trashed," she accused.

And then I saw him across the room, smoking a cigarette and drinking something from a flask. Ty. "I'll be right back," I told Stacey, and squeezed my way across the room. Ty smiled slowly, lazily, when he saw me.

"I wouldn't have thought this was your sort of scene," I greeted.

He smiled. "It's not. My sister dragged me along." He pointed at the couch, where Stacey and the triplets sat. Stacey looked up and gave Ty an approving once over that made my skin prickle with irritation. "No, he's mine!" I wanted to scream at her, sure that as soon as Ty noticed her, I would cease to exist to him. I watched anxiously. He just nodded and turned back to me.

"So, which one's your sister?" I asked, trying to hide my relieved smile.

"Bridget."

"And which one is she?"

He laughed. "The one in the white dress. The short haired one is Mandy. And the other one is Hope. They've been friends since they were in diapers. I call them the triplets."

"Me too!" I cried. "Wow, we are, like, cosmically connected!"

He smiled and grabbed my hand. "C'mon."

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To become even more cosmically connected."

He led me to the bathroom, where he pulled a ziplock bag from his pocket. I watched him chop the contents and expertly roll them into a cigarette. I may have been naive, but I wasn't completely stupid. "This shit will blow your mind," he promised.

He lit the joint, inhaled deeply and handed it to me. I'd never even smoked a cigarette before. Nervously, I took a small drag and tried to hold it back, like he had. It tickled my throat and made me cough until my chest hurt. That small amount, combined with the smoke in the bathroom, was enough to get me high. Ty was right. It did blow my mind. All I wanted to do was go home and paint.

Then he put his hand on my cheek and drew me closer. And I stopped thinking about painting.

x

Ashley pounced on me the second I walked into art class on Wednesday. "What's this I hear about you attending a keg blast at some meatheads place?" she asked.

"It was just a party," I said mildly.

Beside her, Ty was smirking. Giving me a grin that said, 'We share a secret.' _So why haven't you called me? If it really happened and wasn't just some doped out hallucination, why are you acting like I don't exist?_

"So I suppose mediocrity is enough for you," Ashley continued spitefully. "Because that whole scene is the height of mediocrity."

I didn't know what mediocrity meant, but I could tell it wasn't a good thing. I looked to Mia for support. She had, after all, been Sheila McGregors best friend last year. But she just rolled her eyes. "Mainstream society," she scoffed. "Pah!"

"Look, I didn't really want to go," I told them. "But I promised Stacey."

"One of these days Claud," Ashley said seriously, looking into my eyes, "you're going to have to choose between your art and your friends. And I'm scared that you're going to make the wrong choice. Because you have so much talent. You can't let it go to waste."

I knew that Ashley was right. One day, I would have to choose. But today wasn't that day.


End file.
